I wasn’t gonna write about the latest happenings. I surely am not intending to write updates, as activists in Helem and other organizations are more qualified to do so when they think it’s the right time for it.
It’s been a while that I’m thinking about how to tackle the issue of Coming out of the closet and today more than ever seems the right time to do so amongst the latest break downs the gay community in Beirut is witnessing.
It’s been a while also that I’ve been thinking how I should write about my experience when i was summoned by the intelligence forces of the Lebanese Army. The factual details of that incident or the flow of my imagination will have to wait for some other blog. However being out has helped me through it tremendously and therefore I’m gonna tell you why you should come out as well.
You see? Away from the constant discrimination between people who are out and those who are discreet, Coming out or not is the personal decision of each person trying to live happily. In order to reach that happiness, people tend to prioritize things on others. While people who choose being out prioritize their personal freedom on all other sociological aspects, people who choose to remain discreet believe that by doing so, they would remain part of the community that surrounded their birth and maybe get married and build a beautiful family that includes beautiful children.
In Lebanon we still face that problem as we don’t have Same-Sex Marriages nor the ability to adopt.
Do not dare to em-pregnant your best girl-friend outside the institution of marriage as your child would be illegitimate and would live with no civil rights, being born in a society where religions control the personal status of people and holds power to stand against any attempt that deprives religious figures of their source of income. Bref
Living discreetly requires a lot of effort to hide your homosexuality. In the Lebanese society, which is paternal and where the macho macho man still prevails, you have to express your interest in women by show offing your skills in being a non mannered boy. You know, using the vulgar connotations to address women, holding your breath to the back aalong to “we7dit To2borneh Tiza ma Atyaba” (Oh let that yummy ass kill me and bury me in Arabic). or “leik leik malla bzez” (Look look at those boobs also in Arabic).
Boys, come on no one of you should endure that?!?!
You know why you should come out??!!
Well, you should come out not to have to deal with the police and with your parents’ mental break down in the same time. Shock your parents, then go face the police. And when you face them?! Raise your head up high, show them that you’re sure of your innocence, don’t be scared, stand straight with pride, don’t let them shame you. You don’t have to admit your homosexuality, you still can teach them a lesson, tell them it’s shameful to use the words faggot and pervert. Tell them to fuck off from following people’s asses. Tell them what they’re doing is against the law. If they beat you, tell them that you’re suing their asses. Show them how much of retards they are. Eventually no one stays in prison forever, not in this case at least. Remember they’re the aggressors, they’re abusing their power, and not ensuring the respect of laws as they should be doing.
Why should you come out?!
Cause simply you’re gonna get over your fear of society when your parents know. Then the police cannot out you to them. You should come out in order to defend yourself whenever someone in your entourage is bashing gay people with judgements based on ignorance and mere homophobia. You’d refuse being shamed. You’d be a prouder person. As well, you’d be able to defend gay people publicly whenever Hobeich Police Station decides to raid on gay venues and persons, rather than sitting there frustrated for not being able to do shit.
You should come out cause at the end, freedom is for thee who seeks it.
Say no to humiliation.