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All posts for the month November, 2013

The art of embroidery in the Lebanese Grindr

Published November 9, 2013 by angrytinkerbell

While people everywhere search for qualities in the other person, in Lebanon we embroider them.

It’s an art after all and we’re good in arts and appreciate handcraft right? So here’s a sample.

First, you don’t put your face pic. Of course, what kind of people put their faces in your face? It’s rude. Those people are not hip. They have problems with their families. They don’t care about anything. Shame on them. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard people saying “I don’t answer some one with a face pic”. Those people are troublemakers, and they bring pain to my brain cells.

That for a start, then come the hard details. The guy must be classy, we didn’t get over classicism yet around here. A Duke, A Prince, at least a Cavalier. Riding a white horse too. A sword wrapped on his wrist. Looking downwards to the common people. Classy means he’s not a peasant. Lebanese people are all from classes. Their most famous revolution was the peasants revolution, by Tanious Beik Karam, yet those were no Lebanese, cause they’re not classy. Right?

Educated. That riddle is good. We’re on a app that is reputed for quick sex, well we get horny on educated people in here. It’s a fetish, the most common one. You know some people are into uniforms, S&M, Dirty sex, we’re cultured. We’re into educated sex. Like while you’re fucking you bring out some poetry. How hot is that? Or maybe a physics equation. GRRRR. Around 80 % of Lebanese are educated, we cannot like someone who’s not. Charming smart people that are not educated are a turn off for us.

Straight Acting and looking. Quoting one of the Grindr users “Sr8 looking? You wouldn’t look that st8 having my dick in your mouth”. Looking straight is a trend for us homos around here. While straight men are considered trendy when looking gay. And if you’re Straight Acting, it’s even better. It turns us really like really on when some one acts it. Genuine? Who gives a F*ck. We’re born for broad way, stardom, fame, we’re born to be Divas. How can we like some one who’s not a Diva?! I’m about to cry just thinking of it….the sensitivity, the hormones, the feelings, how can you be that insensitive?!?! Now, pull yourself together Guurrrrlll!

Discreet. Being discreet makes you more of a real man. There are real men, and men that are not real. Having a dick doesn’t count. If you’re not discreet, we annul your dick. Some one did actually work out that riddle. His needle was too sharp that it actually pierced me, I’ve stopped being a real man 6 years ago. Shocking!

These were the general traits. Then the finishing! It’s all about the “Finissage”. Examples.

Height: Between 175cm and 180cm

Weight: Between 70 kg and 75kg

Age: Between 27 and 28

Hair: Black

Eyes: Black or brown

Body type: Of course muscled

Skin: Doesn’t really matter when it’s a good dick

Dick size: Above 20 cm.

Teeth: Shiny white as a Hollywood smile.

Body hair: Of course, to be a real man

Toes and fingers: Not aligned, aesthetics are for women

Clothes: Casual Chic and tasteless. Taste is feminine. Blue jeans white shirt is a +

Ass: Bumped.

That, and i won’t describe the foreplay games, where the real test for your manhood relies.

See? We give margin to people and we’re open “MIND”

Our “chef d’oeuvre” is complete and ready to bring evolution to man kind.

Always remember, it’s all about the details…

Now, we’re ready to find “the one”.

Tomorrow is, must be, a better future.

riddle

And then this is taken from a Facebook page called GayWaterford