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All posts for the month May, 2013

I suck in poetry, but…..

Published May 29, 2013 by angrytinkerbell

When I focused on the I, without forgetting about you. I loved who I am, as part of loving you.

I glowed, with magic, or stardust was it, I’m confused, never thought I’d do.

Was I independent?! I think I was, not sure I really was, the confusion I live, I depend on you, to get me through.

I had a dream, that I was the perfect man, but you being there, was it really true?

The I in me was always enough, until I met you, I felt incomplete, so incomplete, I had no clue.

I thought I was a phoenix, with a long tale of fire, I’d never stay in one place, I always flew.

I was promiscuous, I certainly was, I was free, what have you turned me into?

I lived in a rainbow, my life was a mixture of colors, until u came, and imposed your radical blue.

Who I became, is a stranger that I never met, and never knew.

I took off my defenses, my protection, my shields, just to be with you.

Turned out I surrendered to myself, cause u were a step ahead, that I was trying to reach to.

I didn’t lose the I, I surely did not, who I was with you, was one soul, instead of two.

insane

You’re top, he’s top, and both deep in the bottom!

Published May 28, 2013 by angrytinkerbell

Gay sexual inter-courses can be sometimes fucked up. Everyone has a role that he enjoys. Some of us like to fuck, others like to get fucked. Some of us don’t mind both. Some do mind both.

When you’re having sex, with a random non significant guy, that doesn’t seem like a problem at all. You just get over it.

You know you’re top, you’re sure about it, you tried bottoming and it didn’t cling a bell.

He’s top, he’s sure he is too.

When emotions get involved, you do it soft, with no penetration for several times, you enjoy it, yet then what?!

He wants to love you. More. He wants to totally feel you. Well you want to feel him too….

Well it’s not a big deal if you get fucked, you’re not the type to relate it to machismo. Neither he is.

Yet between your feelings, and his, getting fucked seems for both of you a fake act, that each one to do it will feel doing it for the other one. Well yeah you’re both not selfish. However, would you feel you’re loved while him fucking you?! Would he feel so while you’re fucking him?! Radically no.

All you both would feel, is that you’re both being not selfish to offer the other a one sided pleasure.

Then well if he accepts that, you don’t mind it. If you accept that, he wouldn’t mind it. Yet surely you both don’t accept it!

But when you’re both sincere about your emotions, and don’t wanna intimidate the other with your needs, you feel, as he does, you’re reaching a blocking wall.

What to compromise? He wouldn’t accept you compromise, as you won’t accept that he does. He wants you to feel loved while fucking you, you want him to feel loved while fucking him.

You’re both tops, and dealing with a deep bottom situation.

Yeah well it happens. What else would happen?! You never know, he doesn’t know neither.

You both wanna just keep connection….

Until a break in the wall emerges….

confusion 2

Ghost has reopened!

Published May 25, 2013 by angrytinkerbell

Yeah Ghost has reopened yesterday night. Well it was expected however not in the same place, in the same ville, in the fortress of persistence and resistance, in Shakhtoora’s dreamland, in the land that was blessed by 2 patriarchs?!?!!

The last 2 days were funny, very funny… As Mr Shakhtoora wasn’t convinced of the legitimacy of Ghost’s existence, he decided to cut the electricity cables that reach the club. Not only that, he pursued in using his power to forbid a generator’s owner from delivering power to Ghost.

Let’s face it the guy was determined. Yet at the end, electricity was provided, of course it would, especially that the public prosecutor made sure to call Shakhtoora and order him to let go, the place legally can reopen, and will reopen.

The community conquered this battle. This is the 2nd battle the community wins after the 36 men’s arrest.

For the 1st time the community decided to fight back. No not everyone is out yet. The community was united by a genuine feeling of oppression and aggression refusal. The queens have not hit the streets with their high heels, no. But they couldn’t let things pass smoothly for the oppressor.

The community is more than ever aware of its potential. Well yeah, we’re strong people, get over it. We endured feeling abnormal when we started realizing our attraction towards people from our sex, lived the fear of religion and society, accepted ourselves, been harassed and insulted, bullied too, fought inner and outer battles, tried to build love relations in a non receptive environment, what do you expect?! Of course we are strong people, we’ve been forged with perseverance and great will, to prove ourselves within this fucked up society, of course we are strong, and successful in our work, and of course we’re influential, oh yes big time.

In this battle, everyone fought his own way. Things have graduated like this. People got shocked of the closing of Ghost and the brutality of the actions towards 4 innocent people. People were in rage. They started making jokes of Shakhtoora, they dressed him in woman. People started asking what they can do back. Organizations prepared their tools and were ready to start their fight. Bloggers thought of fighting back too. Meanwhile the gay community was still frequenting gay bars as usual, well mostly. The media in Lebanon raised the voice. Bloggers started blogging. They launched a blogging campaign even that trended all over facebook and twitter. People read, shared, liked, and refused injustice. Things evolved dramatically into a confrontation of existence. No Mr Shakhtoora, you’re not getting away with your actions, You’re gonna be shamed for it, few people protested in front of the ministry of Justice because of your unjust acts. Your portfolio would be crowned with 2 lawsuits dah ling. You raised the voice of the church, thought you were Gabriel, the angel that protects the heavenly kingdom. So smart, so unexpected. The best part was when we discovered that the signs you’ve spread to bless your actions were created by you. Honey, it was fabulous, seeing them being removed in a glance like putted. Now all the media was against you, well in the exception of Al Jaras magazine and Al Balad newspaper and few dumpsters, you’ve been blessed with their support. So smart of you, really, our campaign made the minister of interior comment, and regret he ever did, so he had to explain his homophobia, and then condemn your acts, while all your argument was fighting corruption, yeah right, with all the corruption your portfolio contains, you know drug dealing, illegal cabarets and poker places, using the public money of the municipality for your personal profit, and the list goes on, soooooo not smart of you. You’ve faced people forged with pain, discrimination, aggression, insults, bullying. You’ve faced living witnesses of Injustice; did you expect us to be easy preys? The kind you’d devour without having a huge bone stuck in your throat?!?!?!

Yes the community has won the battle, and came out stronger than ever.

Today, you’re a living witness too, an example for each person who even thinks that it’s easy to digest the community without suffering the consequences, or each person who allows himself to abuse his power to attack the weak, thinking that his playground is the jungle, and he’s the king of it, a no righteous one who’s allowed everything. From now on, the community won’t be an easy meal; it’s the frog with the poisoned skin that would suddenly turn the predator into a prey.

Tomorrow, it’s a better future, and surely a more tolerant one….

woof

Marwan Charbel and Schizophrenia

Published May 20, 2013 by angrytinkerbell

Within an article for “Now.” regarding the IDAHO, and after the controversy of his statement declaring Lebanon an Anti-Faggots country where it’s not allowed for Fags who marry in France to spend their honeymoon around here, the Lebanese Minister of Interior Affairs Marwan Charbel decided to confuse whom it may concern, and declared the following:

1-“I didn’t say Lebanon is against faggots, but the Lebanese law is against faggots, this is the penal code talking not me”.

Wow, thank you for clarifying M. Minister, now it makes sense, eufff I’m so much relieved. However just to clarify to you that the penal code is not really against faggots, he doesn’t mention faggots even, the article 534 states a crime of 2nd degree (not 1st degree as you stated before) that is punished by imprisonment from six months till a year for everyone that commits sexual acts that are against nature. And since we are homosexuals, not faggots, we do not consider our sexual intercourse as an act against nature.

2-” Personally if i see my son doing these things i don’t accept, cause this is against nature”

Honey who cares for what you personally think?! I personally think you’re an asshole. And Homophobic. And i believe your presence in that position is against nature. And i dunno really why that Journalist took you into consideration in our glorious day. And no one gives a shit about who you are! I mean look at Ahmad Al Assir, for him you don’t exist. I cannot but sympathize with your son. What do you mean you don’t accept?! Really?! What would you do to express your nonacceptance?! Would you listen to his phone calls?! Put an agent to follow him? Make some Policemen beat him? Kick him out of home? Run after him through all the 112 vehicles  (911 in Lebanon, wish it was that efficient tho) ?? What can you really do?! I’m calling for all of you to pray for Minister Charbel’s son, God be with him for having such a father.

3-“Let them (Faggots) protest and demand their rights like the french did”

Really? You give us that right? Well why don’t you act like the french minister did and support a Gay Marriage Law in Beirut? Why don’t you become responsible like your french colleagues and man up?!

4-“I demanded investigations within the acts of M. Shakhtoora who has no right to do what he did, nor close Ghost (gay bar in Beirut). It’s the Law who enforces such an act”

Poor Minister Charbel, he could do nothing, he wanted to defend us, yet you know a head of municipality has got bigger balls than him, he just couldn’t do a thing!

Well i have Schizophrenia, since I am always confused about the classification of the country i live in. Am I in a civilized country or a fucken retarded one. Thank you Minister Charbel for making things clear. Yeah I do live in a retarded country, that have retarded ministers like yourself.

schizophrenia

Being Your Man’s Man

Published May 16, 2013 by angrytinkerbell

Being your man’s man is definitely different than being your woman’s man, one cannot elaborate nor argue.

But what does being your man’s man mean? Him being your man? Or you being his?!

Your man, or his, is something very rare to find. Not every guy you date is really your man, nor you are his.

Definitely the existence of love plays a major role but is it really the only thing that matters?! No, not really…

Being your man’s man, is when you connect to someone that doesn’t question any behavior of yours. Well we’re not talking about when you’re being inconsiderate. No. We’re talking about when he puts in you the feeling that no matter what you do his feelings towards you would remain the same.

You know, you don’t feel that he’s judging you in every and each single thing you do.

The things you say would not feel awkward to him. He listens to you, and even if he doesn’t agree, he embraces your thoughts without having to show you a wrecked face, nor the ultimate surprise reaction of a horror show.

He doesn’t make you feel you’re a sinner, he embraces your bad qualities, even if he doesn’t lik’em. He would highlight your bad thinking, without having to make you feel you’re a bad person.

Mostly, he’d consider you a goodhearted person, well you have to be at a minimum. He would go with the process of discovering you without picking up on every single detail. He would understand if you tend to have a shocking way of expression based on the inner need for being a Diva and an Attention Seeker.

He invites you to dinner, without making you feel that you owe him one back. He doesn’t care if you invite him back.

You sit with him in a constant flow of dialogue. Even when you both are silent, you feel there is a discussion going on. You don’t endure the heaviness of silence with him.

Your man sleeps by your side, he doesn’t let you know you were snoring every single time you do while you’re asleep, he moves out of bed and heads to sleep on the couch letting you snore as much as you need…

If you wake up in a grumpy mood, he tends to soften you. If he has to wake you up, he does it in the most loving way.

He cares to know the things that bug you, he tries to avoid them when you point them out. He doesn’t have to change, well no-one does, yet he adapts because he wants to be a source of happiness in your life, not a source of stress.

He makes you feel that it’s allowed to be wrong sometimes, what is right anyway?!

He gives you space of time and place to acknowledge it, and apologize when you realize you’ve been a jerk.

Your man, is caring, he surrounds you with a shield of security. He makes you feel you’re a better person than the one you thought you were.

He protects you when you’re weak. You know these moments where you feel the highest walls of the world are crashing on you crane. He tells you how beautiful and sweet person you are when you feel you’re the ugliest person born with the most evil soul on earth.

He tells you, everything looks beautiful on you although you believe somewhere in your heart that your clothing taste fucks up sometimes.

If you stink?! He tells you your body odors are better than any perfume in the world, or he can mention showering together, without making you endure his facial expressions screaming out of disgust.

Your man protects you, as he thinks you protect him. He thinks that you are born to be together, and no one has the bond you both have.

He laughs at your bad jokes, he can be annoying sometimes, yet you find it cute.

When he smiles, you feel you’ve been deported to a better world. Things seem happier.

He watches you eating, your no manners look adorable to him.

Your sexual freakishness is allowed with your man, he’s ready to explore it with you, he can reject it if he doesn’t like it later on, yet most probably he’d do it for you…

Your man makes you feel loved, oh yes he does. In a way that you just don’t care if everyone else hate you.

Your man is shy, even if he’s comfortable with you. He draws a genuine limit of respect, whatever that means.

Being his man makes you feel unique, having the best man around. You’re not any man’s man.

You being his man is his source of joy, and you’re his little precious.

Your man is your equal, there is no supremacy going on.

Everything that applies to you on the level of privileges, seem to be an inner commitment to be the same for him.

Being you man’s man, is a two way relation. He is your man, and you are his.

a man's man

For God’s Sake

Published May 15, 2013 by angrytinkerbell

Stop telling me what’s written in the Bible/Qoran/any other Bookpenguin!

Although many moderate clerics deny the fact that Homosexuality is abominated in all religions, and althg I’m a believer hear me say it out loud.

I don’t give a F*ck.

My God is not, and will never be the same God of yours.

My God is loving, while all what you preach about is the God of Hate.

Keep your God to yourselves, I’m cherishing the God in me, the God that tells me i can share his Holiness.

I celebrate the joy of his presence every day, through every person i meet.

You preach about the dark future.

I enjoy life, while you fear the after life.

I trans-passed fear, to live the true love, while your fear brings you nothing but hate.

You wanna hate me?! I can live with it easily, cause when i loved, i learned to love haters like you.

You wanna hate others?! I feel the urge of preaching love to u, in a way or another, sometimes i will be tough on you, cause you don’t understand but that language…

I love you, yes i do, i accept ur abnormalities, it makes you as abnormal as me in your eyes…

I love you?! Yes i do, cause who am i to hate you.

I don’t have to agree on your path, as i’m surely not expecting you to agree on mine.

You will feel my loving rage, yeah sometimes, cause i cannot see you hurting others, that is part of my protective nature and the acquirement of the notion of Justice.

You will accept my love in all its forms, you don’t have a choice in that.

My love forbids me from standing silent when ur not being loving towards others.

I’m gonna preach you love in the bible/qoran, cause that was and still is the main purpose of having those books…

You are free to accept it or not, but as much as i love you, i need to make it clear, in my world, you are not allowed to spread hate, just keep it inside you, simply cause you don’t match the love my world contains. You don’t like it? I never liked your hate, i created my world that lived ok with your presence, now it’s your turn live fine with mine, otherwise i’ll lovingly crack your head!!!

All the love,

Your loving brother in humanity…

A world with no Homophobia

Published May 14, 2013 by angrytinkerbell

In a world with no homophobia, things would go this way:

-Children won’t feel weird about same sex attraction, everyone has it at a certain point

-Guilt towards God would not exist, we’d promise him to have safe sex

-Bullying in schools would not be there, and would not cause Suicide

-Coming out would not be necessary, and therefore less usage of Closets

-Clothes of straight men would be more fabulous, even the word Fabulous wouldn’t be that stereotyping

-There would be no debate about if we chose to be homosexual or not, the word “homosexual” would probably not exist

-There would be no fights for marriage equality, we wouldn’t be even happy for having a gay official

-Straight men would go “aaaahhhhhhh” when they see 2 men kissing in the street, same applies on straight women seeing 2 women kissing.

-The world would be less of an aggressive place to live in, of course more arts and better taste

-We wouldn’t witness the opening of Gay Churches and Mosques, catastrophic

-Gaga wouldn’t have been that famous

-No hate crimes would happen, only love crimes

-Lebanon would be definitely a better country to live in, Ghost would have been still open

-We wouldn’t have witnessed the Online Pillow Fight between Joe Maalouf and Jiyad El Murr, urghhh

-Nidal Al Ahmadiyyeh would have shut Al Jaras magazine already

-Antoine Shakhtoura wouldn’t have been such an asshole

-Marwan Charbel wouldn’t have been that dumb

-I wouldn’t have wrote this post, and therefore you wouldn’t have taken the time to read it

anti homophobia 2